Days go by - II

The last memory I have of being as scattered as I have felt of late is when I was living in L.A. and working six days a week. I felt like I couldn't breathe and I never got anything done. I was so tired when I got home I wouldn't do laundry or clean up my apartment I would just eat and drink, emphasis on the drink. Then for my one day off I would maybe go to the races, which made my day vanish into thin air as it was a 2 hour drive to the races and when I got home I had to go to bed. When I was remembering this while taking a shower a minute ago it made me realize or remember something important. When you don't make and effort to commit your time to interesting/important/fulfilling endeavors it is easy to spend all your time doing mostly one thing. Since I am not in school I don't work full time or have any regular activities that I engage in it is easy for me to get lost in spending my time being in a relationship. Being more active in a variety of things instead of just a few things might help me focus my energy more usefully than I feel I have been. And not just anything; something that will help change my situation and my station in life.