Darkness Falls

As the days grow shorter and shorter in terms of sunlight it seems a metaphor for my life. Work is becoming quite the struggle these days as the economy or maybe just shitty management is making me very poor for the time being and actually looking for another job. How seriously will be determined because I told myself I am going to canvass the areas around my house with resumes on Monday. We will see come Monday, although I am sure I will at least go to the ones closest to my house. Sure...sure. It is amazing home only a few weeks have passed since work was good and the only bad things was someone quitting, which meant more money and shifts for me. All of a sudden it seems like I am one of the remaining rats on a rapidly sinking ship. Maybe I will be proven wrong and paranoid but the feeling in my stomach and the attitude of my coworkers tells a different story. It may be ironic that this is happening as we transition to winter when I remember waking up as a child an not understanding why there was no light outside. Well now I am wondering why there is no light inside me lighting more of a fire to change my fate and situation with more urgency. Part of me feels like the stress from dealing with all the negativity and long days, including a 14 hour friday, have just left me exhausted in every possible way. I hope I regain strength and began again the struggle to be happy. Even if only relatively.