Darkness Falls

As the days grow shorter and shorter in terms of sunlight it seems a metaphor for my life. Work is becoming quite the struggle these days as the economy or maybe just shitty management is making me very poor for the time being and actually looking for another job. How seriously will be determined because I told myself I am going to canvass the areas around my house with resumes on Monday. We will see come Monday, although I am sure I will at least go to the ones closest to my house. Sure...sure. It is amazing home only a few weeks have passed since work was good and the only bad things was someone quitting, which meant more money and shifts for me. All of a sudden it seems like I am one of the remaining rats on a rapidly sinking ship. Maybe I will be proven wrong and paranoid but the feeling in my stomach and the attitude of my coworkers tells a different story. It may be ironic that this is happening as we transition to winter when I remember waking up as a child an not understanding why there was no light outside. Well now I am wondering why there is no light inside me lighting more of a fire to change my fate and situation with more urgency. Part of me feels like the stress from dealing with all the negativity and long days, including a 14 hour friday, have just left me exhausted in every possible way. I hope I regain strength and began again the struggle to be happy. Even if only relatively.

Playing the game

It seems this year has been one giant exercise in futility. What else could possibly go wrong. I should have known that when the patriots didn't win the super bowl that the world was going to end. We are coming to the end of one presidents administration and about to enter another as the world crumbles around us. Financially most of the world is a joke as we try to keep the game going by writing numbers in books and calling it money when money is just an idea. Value is the real question that has been lost along the way as consumerism has enveloped this nation, along with several others. No longer is someone building or making something so that people have access to things they want and need in order to survive and flourish. Things are doled out little by little with several restraints and many rules governing use. Our cell phones suck and cost too much to do very little very well and the internet may be on its way there as well as I find it harder and harder to find something that isn't an ad trying to distract me away from what I am doing or preventing me from doing it all together as they find more and more ways so it is impossible to ignore. We should have access to just about all services for which we pay too much. Pretty soon you will have to pay for everything you want directly. When tv started it was paid for by ads. Then came cable, which still had ads but you were paying for premium content. Now cable is just like regular tv but you are still paying for it because some jackass has to come to your house and plug a cable into a box you don't even need. Why dont we just start over. Write off all the debt figure out what things are valued at and go from there. No more $150 dollar shoes, no more paying for cable, and no more bullshit from everyone cheating us out of our money because they have to have just a little more when pretty soon they will have it all and it will be worthless. I am not sure this rant made any sense.