Out With the Old In With the New

As the circular nature of our world and our life continues we find ourselves at another predictable moment of celebration for an arbitrary occasion. As much as I like parties I have never been a big fan of obligatory soirees. Its too much pressure for me to have a good time when perhaps I just want to have a normal day. Maybe I am just holding on to old ideas that I have been thinking for years and maybe I am coming around on the whole thing but every birthday or holiday celebration always makes me feel like I have no choice in the matter. Acquiesce or face the stigma of going against the grain of not fitting in and being shunned by society(shunned might be a little strong). Perspective always enters into the conversation with me as I am constantly trying to better understand myself, others and our various motivations for our actions. Since I work in retail I find it necessary to fall in line when it comes to the pleasantries that people expect from me in that context. "Good morning", "have a nice day", "sure is cold outside", "what about that local sports team or other relevant information pertaining to our shared experiences". Despite that fact that I am the king of small talk and can over explain anything to my hearts content(this blog being a prime example of that) it gets boring saying the same things over and over again to the same people on the same days. I try to mix it up and give unusual, but coherent, responses to people's statements and questions but I only have so much energy to spend. After a long day at work talking to customers, or even coworkers, I often feel the need to socialize on a more informal level which usually involves me going to my favorite bar to strike up some interesting conversation with the other patrons. For those of you that don't spend much time drinking and talking, although I suspect none of you are reading this blog, you would be surprised how the conversation can wend and weave itself to all kinds of topics. Last night we talked about musical theory a subject I would not expect at a bar. At most bars much of what I overhear involves sports or nonsense, the two may be the same, for as we drink we digress or devolve into comfortable familiar and uncomplicated ideas; it just makes sense not to try and have intense interactions as our faculties are affected more and more by the alcohol. What does any of this have to do with anything? Everything! Our society is structured in predictable ways and most of what we do is scripted to an extent and as the new year fast approaches we are adhering to the script perfectly as we head to our various parties to ring in yet another arbitrary passage of time. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Me, myself, and I

As I turned another page trying to remember what I had just read moments ago, to maintain a common thread between ideas and characters all the while resisting the urge to turn back and read those pages again. Was it Sean or Paul? Lauren or Judy? So many questions so many perspectives. The previous sentences pertain to the novel "Rules of Attraction" by Brett Easton Ellis that I recently finished. Art reflects life and while this particular novel is not in sync with my life I remember those years of my life fondly and reminisce. I began reading again in earnest when VV brought Chad Kultgen and the afore mentioned Easton Ellis into my life. Two authors with similar perspectives but decades apart. Part of me thinks their writing demonstrates how we tell our life stories, especially how we tell it to ourselves(if that makes the slightest bit of sense). We all have an inner monologue, a narration of sorts where we think through ideas and feelings, where we justify and rationalize behavior to maintain our vision of ourselves, what was referred to in the movie The Matrix as residual self image or more simply identity. Identity can be fluid and constant as we have many personas to juggle between work, family, friends, community, etc. There is of course a connection between all of them where 'I' exist. I feel that concept is lost on some people who become to much of one aspect of who they are. Whether they are defining themselves through work, love, money, or any one of the many possibilities, it is too one sided and lacks perspective. Perspective is one of the greatest gifts we can get from other people. People who challenge our ideas of who we are, or who we think we are, what we think, how we form our beliefs(if we have any at all), and most importantly how we come to terms with our existence inside our collective reality.